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time #3

YOU SAID YOU LIKE BEING BY THE OCEAN - because it feels like you're at the edge of the world

We come to find out that's how I've always viewed it too

No worries there

Limitless possibilities

No judgement

Just space

We went there to reflect and meditate

What we found ourselves doing is making more fond memories

You left with a burn on the back of your legs

Maybe the fire of the sun connected with the fire of your sign

I left with a burn on my face

Maybe the fire of your sign left my face with a story to tell

I find it easy to speak of you in beautiful metaphor

It just... works

m

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Just Like YOU

I'm envious

I want to be an artist, just like you

All this time I've been living in a material world that closes my eyes to the possibilities of improvisation

Closes my eyes to the paper I should touch my pen to

Little fears grab my head & hammer nails of thought into my frontal lobe, like a mental lobotomy 

I fear the thought of touching this pen to this paper

What these nails try to tell me is that I'll be wasting valuable space

The demos within me want me to stop creating

The Angels above me need to be let in

I look up to the stars often - maybe to greet an Angel anxious to help - hoping the Angel falls into my eyes & mouth like a dark memory I can't escape

A dark memory I look back on to see a reflection of what I've achieved, or who I was

How I've grown

Every bit of nostalgia consumes me

The Smell, the Temperature Fluctuation, the Humidity

They may be dark memories, but they remind me of a brighter future

(Thank you L for the inspiration)

m

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You said, it's 'Been A Little' While

I spent all day with a new desire

I found myself here to tame your fire

A cancer that eats away the burn

You give me a sign that sings higher than the birds

 

I found myself captivated by your eyes

Changing shades with the tides we let wash away our time

We both left this day feeling truly accepted

Relieved and scared of what this could mean

We haven't felt this way in ages

We've helped each other create something honest and breathless

I want to feel you as a companion every day

I want to lock eyes as you hold your breath

I want to relieve the moment we sang to each other our past

 

I came into this day with a suspicion you're going to affect me

The one you want to meet taught me to always trust that feeling

 

I don't feel this often

But I feel a sensual tension

And emotional sanction

A true feel of completion

 

You said you want to travel to the dirty places

Truth revealed that we share the same attraction

Damn, I can't stop thinking about your eyes

From the moment we met I was truly mesmerized

 

I'll always think of when we jumped in the ocean fully clothed

It's a hard thing to find someone who lets life flow

 

When I returned back to the place where I sleep

You had a song waiting to keep me up beat

It's been a little while since you opened up like this

A song to confess of how you've kept it all inside

You said it's been a little while 

Been A Little

You said it's been a little while

Been A Little

m

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6 Hours

Only 6 hours

You only get six hours

Sleep on the dreams you're creating

Learn while you live in slumber

This is all I need

Nothing more to get me moving

Just enough to wake my desire

It's about how I start this

From the moment I wake I have 18 more

Some use this time to get lost in the fiction of others

Or perhaps to satisfy the urge from the tip of their tongue to the pit of their tum

Once the enemy hits the bottom it knocks you to the recliner

Stealing all your ambitions

Satisfied that it brought you down to where it feels most comfortable

Even the demons inside are afraid to go bold

They do only what they know and fear what-if 

m

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Find Your Cause

Find your cause

I said find your cause

 

What we create is so much bigger than what we are

But what we believe is what we choose to see

Ya see, we're all a part of this system whether we want to believe it or not

But what the system doesn't give recognition

They're scare you'll fight to the top

 

What we do at this time will determine who we are to others

But more importantly, to ourselves

With this self satisfaction

We gain the brain tension to push a nation to fraction

Fracture the earth in a caption

Capture the worth of a captain

Push an ego to the limit

Just to see what we fit in it

Every time that we got higher

Was another we got wiser

Learning how to bend the limits

The inheritance was given

Learning how to shape the box

That we thought couldn't be molded

 

But it turns out the box was created by someone who thinks much like us

 

So you know what we did?

 

So We Stood up on what we feel

We're Standing tall and feeling regal

Even the jailbirds see us

From a angle we were real

To the ones who think we couldn't

To the ones afraid to try

I say, get up, get up

Don't ever let them take you down

Get up, get up

Only few will take the crown

 

And perhaps we become the few when we decide that we deserve it

Perhaps we become the few

When we decide that we deserve it

Perhaps we become the few when we - recognize the power in repetition

The power in recommission

The power is self sufficient

Don't you see it?

It took me years to believe it

 

The wealth magnifies the type of person you already are

But let it be known that you won't let it get the best of you

 

We learn at the school of example

 

So - exemplify, what you must defy

And you will amplify us all

m

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SUDDENLY OBSESSED

We're suddenly obsessed with the political press
We march for our rights to reject those in power
Fill the streets with signs to empower the flowerless
We bring down the flawless
What they fail to see is
We’re born to be keepers
This is the next generation of rulers, of protectors - motivated by emails of how we could do better

m

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Pressure

I'm so sorry you had to see him go 

We all know that he loved you the most

Or loves you still, depending on what you believe

We all need to lay on to these things to bring meaning to the way we breathe

Sick for so long

Decisions made out of fear

Maybe the wrong ones

Or maybe I don't know a thing about what brought you here

I see how you are when you're around each other

I go back to fear, because I fear that the other made these choices from a true place of that - not knowing if he'll lose everything he's earned

When in reality, you seem to take more than your fair share 

I know he's gone, and for that I send you and yours my love

But I truly hope the other sees the things within himself that are worth fighting for

Or perhaps I'm completely wrong

m

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control

I deserve to have this gun

it’s my second amendment right

in case bad guys put up a fight

or if the government gets too tight

The answer to all these mass shootings

is not to remove guns

but to arm more humans

the responsible ones!

What if a man with a concealed carry was present

Saved the day

killed the bad guy

got a handshake from the president

 

I’m gonna say it, let me just say it

we need to ban military guns from civilians

you may not agree and I may not care

because when it’s all said and done, that’s many less lives lost from a mentally lost soul

I’d rather get picked a part for what I believe than knowing that I could’ve saved a life

taking life is a sport

I’ll hold the head up while you take a picture

post it to Facebook, but first to insta

Kill, kill. the need, the thrill.

video games, movies, and now, for real

you get strapped up

suit up and sit tight

you planned it all out

first, you take the guards life

100 rounds, enough to go down

take them all out

hold the fort down

shoot em while they’re weeping

move into the bathroom, take em while they’re texting

Your green greed could’ve saved 49 lives

a million more, over time

the only purpose for this thing is to take a life

more shots in a shorter time

your green greed could save a life

even for one, it’s worth the try

 

Yesterday was the worst we’ve heard

for the victims of the pulse massacre

They lost their lives, no second chance 

we learn by shooting at paper shaped like humans

you argue ‘Well, anyone can make a bomb!’

“Might as well make everything illegal, like matches & pressure cookers!"

 

Yes, it’s in the mans mentality that makes him able to commit this brutality

But now 49 people are dead

and the whole world is hurt

he obtained his gun following the rules

but what if the rules were stricter?

 

 

even if one life is saved

then damnit, it’s worth it.

 

 

we are more than just a number

a statistic to the senate

experimental laws to see how many make it

m

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male aggression

What we breathe is greed

Our human need is to breed

But what we breed we need to feed

And when we can't feed... The people stampede

Bricks and stones in cars and homes

Fire, a mans desire

She told me the problem with society

It's not drugs, guns, sex or greed

A mans ego will tell him where he goes

And mans soul is weak when it gets cold

This is where the genders separate

Clear difference between love and hate 

They act on their impulse

Buy a gun to kill at pulse

With some psychological healing and tenderness where they're feeling - we might get to the core of what is causing this hailing

m

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i need to leave

I'm here to create

I tell myself it's my fate

I tell myself it's what I'm being told

To say that out loud would be far too bold

My head feels like it's going to explode

There's a pressure in the back

A pressure for gold

I could just fall asleep

But instead I'm here making it deep

A small pillow holds me up

A big lonely bed supports my luck

Do I deserve what I have?

Or should I be kicked in the road and learn to make it back?

It has gotten to a point where the choice is made

It's a frightening realization

But it's one that could save my dreams

The second to last thing I want to do it break her heart

It tears me apart to see her this harmed

I love her, I love her, I love her

I just don't believe I'm meant to be with her

I'm not going to lie, the thought lately doesn't sound half bad

But if I give this time, resentment will be killer

My prayer for post is that we turn out to be true lifelong friends, not ghosts.

She's a true gem and I hope she sees that's how I view her.

m

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growing together

In a lonely world 

Different stories 

Many more have seen the falling

All in all I don't think you're ready

You give him what you have

But he doesn't know how to pay it forward

 

In the place where you both live

You walk every day

You keep all our stories

All alone I watch you sit

He's right there beside you

 

He knows he's selfish every day, in many ways

Notes left at his workspace

Begging him to not forget

You've shared all your weakest moments 

Such a story to be told

But what he needs - you don't hold

 

You've travelled half the world together

Made it through storms and brighter weather

Though not always perfect, they were perfect memories

Don't be bitter that he left

So many goals left unlived

The resentment would be much worse in the future

I truly, deeply & sincerely love you.

m

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chico

I often visit where I was born

In a town full of trees

The water sings to me

A sense of fullness comes upon me

Body feels at home

My heart is not alone

 

It takes a narrow road to get there

Every time I drive to you

I'm in the light of the moon

Blinded by the coming headlights

Stay alert, stay alive

On this beautiful drive

 

One city

The most beautiful people in the world

So many stories

I found love on the corner of 3rd and brunette

I sang her the chorus and she rolled like thunder

We spent 3 years living like lovers

Every corner has its story

I relive a past so present

 

Oh, there's a stream through my core

It stretches five miles long

Oh, so many people I love have stayed

I might be back for good some day - but probably not

These years I must depart

My love for this place will catch fire and burn like a Phoenix 

Rebuilding every time I sit in the shade of your Oak trees

 

Spring blossoms will smell even sweeter when I come back

m

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to know you

Do you feel safe around me?

Do I make you believe you're truly free?

I'm not after one thing

I'm not like the others that come before me

I truly want to know you

I spend time with you to have a deeper connection

Last night was something of a date

But in that moment I saw how you truly see me

Perhaps this won't lead anywhere

But I'm okay with that

Being your friend brings me joy, and I can live with that

The benefit of knowing you is happiness

You open up to me, but it takes all my energy to get to that point

I will never put you in a position which you feel unsafe

I will never make you feel uncomfortable

I'm not like the others before me

I just truly want to know you.

m

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how to

Actual excerpt from my journaling.

 

Does she:

  • look at you when she laughs?(yes)
  • Point her toes and torso toward you in a conversation (especially group setting)
  • Pupils dilate when she looks at you?
  • Glance at you multiple times within a couple minutes?
  • Touch her lips or look at your lips?
  • Play with her hair or try to make it look better
  • Mention you to her friends? (Yes)
  • Accidentally touch you?  (Yes) Intentionally touch you? (Yes) (Touch her hand, lower back or face in a non-creepy way.  If she likes you, her reaction will be positive)
  • Get nervous around you?
  • Tend to stick nearby you in public places?

 

How to:

  • Have your own life
  • Have an interesting hobby or passion
  • Ask her to do small things for you - Benjamin Franklin effect
  • Make her laugh
  • Be her friend (& do things other people don't do - little notes, etc)
  • Break the touch barrier (casual touching - make it clear you're willing to touch her in a non-sexual way)
  • Tell her secrets ( if you show that you trust her, she'll trust and open up to you)
  • Give her all of your attention in conversation
  • Workout

m

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let them see for themselves

Channel this beauty

This inner healing

Let this one consume you

Let the beast find his own way

You're here to achieve your greatness

No one can take what you have inside

This is the time to let your mind glide

The hours you'll put in are a reflection of how high you'll fly

They’ll work for you

But you've got to work for you

Show the world you can be real to the healing

Give them something to look up to

Let them know in little ways

Your love and drive comes from a holy place

Your waking light is the creator

Your Loving light is the creator

Your city lights are the creator

They will see where your truth, love and hope stems from

And when they realize, perhaps they'll reflect on what is truly worth living

I've met some wonderful people in my life lately

It brings me joy to be so accepting and social.

The people deserve what I'm not working to gain for free

This city has made me see so many things

m

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privilege

I'm blessed to be a dreamer

What a chance to say what I believe in

They get locked away and thrown with the bleeders 

Another diamond to crush and sell to the leaders 

We live in a white fence, where privilege is our consequence 

Throw a prayer your way, or maybe sponsor to say I did it

Tell ourselves we're doing all we can do 

Not a care in the air that we're the fortunate few

Yes, we get poisoned by the ones who control us 

Bleach in our produce & a false treatment for cancer 

Our happiness is controlled by a candy shaped pill, then 10 more to cancel out the chain reaction

Fracture the earth until our foundation crumbles, give our clean water to mass kill the cattle

After all this greed and feed, it doesn’t compare to your lives getting stolen

All of this trouble is too much to handle for our complexion, but we have the privilege to not get involved

m

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unspoken spark

After all these days

You're still what I think about as I fall asleep

You're still on my mind when I'm with someone else

There's an unspoken spark that ignited a flame in the park where I first knew you

I love asking you questions

I love hearing your answers

I feel that I know you

I feel that you want to trust me

I want you to know you can

I want you to feel safe

I will always be there when you need

& I know you'll do the same for me

As I earn your trust, my arms open up

You fall into them a little more every day

I let you borrow my hat that you love, so when you see it you think of me - and because I want to share the best of what I have with you

I truly believe this bond will last the rest of our lives

I'm so proud of you - so proud of all you accomplish, & so proud to call you my friend <3 

m

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shine

We'll shine like birds

Floating over the ocean

Shine like the stars

Lighting up the Black Sea

And when we're apart

Know that through all the commotion

I'll Shine my heart wherever you'll be

m

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ocean

put your heart at least once in the ocean

if you don't try now you'll never feel the emotion

what we do at this time will determine who we are to ourselves - who we are to others

life lives on in a complicated fashion

organized crime and unfiltered passion

only the fortunate few are here to take the crown

perhaps we become the few when we decide that we deserve it

if I knew the end, would I love endlessly?

if I knew the climax, would I open up to you?

if we know where we go from a feeling in our gut - then what makes us try so hard for something we see as luck?

in any situation, I see beauty in your eyes

there's a spark inside that only time try's

the true revealer is that of nature

with our intention we haze the true creation

I want to fly to let me dreams be on top

and when I die it will be enough

I'll know where I was when it meant everything

I'll know when you make a single silent scream

you're dying inside knowing you can't stop the bus

you're crying outside with the words that I mutter

if this is the time that we end all our pain - will we stop this safe train, or will it become another thing in vain?

the words come to me in this state of challenge

i think I've found a new horizon to meet my creator

it's a beautiful realization to be the one to heal a nation

but what do we do when the people become their only weapon?

they backfire in an instant

life goes around in circles with an ever-evolving faith

m

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